A Conversation With Adaeze Akabogu: Vulnerability, South Kilburn & Love.

I first met Adaeze at the Olive Morris Ceremony in 2024. That is where I first saw the documentary film ‘Lagos, Peckham, Repeat’. I immediately fell in love with her film-making style. This film explores the blackness of Peckham, specifically Nigerian culture's presence within this area. 

Adaeze, is a young artist from Kilburn of Nigerian-Igbo descent. Her work explores vulnerability, faith and love. In this world full of apathy and nihlism her work combats any form of nonchalence to our daily lives and relationships. In this interview we discuss her practice, upbringing,  the importance of love and art. 

What were your first interactions with art? 

I would say, as a human you are always exposed to art from the day you are concieved/born. Growing up, I was always surrounded by beautiful people who made art unapologetically. I remember going to youth club, and the family who started the youth club were so artistically inclined and I think that was a place where I got to express my artistic self that I couldnt at home. 

I come from a very conservative west african mindset and background where expressing artistic identity is viewed as a cop out. It's viewed as something less than. Going to that youth club was my artistic escape. I always say to my siblings that when we grow up we need to give back to that community because they really influenced the way I think and create art. Growing up I watched a lot of music videos, movies and documentaries that inspired me. 

What was youth club like?

I would always say it was like a second home, when you went in there you felt welcomed. You felt like your dreams and capacities were endless because you saw other people chasing their dreams. The founders were of a Rastafarian background, so they really held values of community. I really love that family to this day. 

What is South Kilburn like? 

I mean community first comes to mind. Pre-gentrification, everyone knew everyone. The people who founded the youth club lived down the block from there. So we would go to their house and there were loads of key places and landmarks that made it south Kilburn. It’s sad to see that some of those places are no longer there anymore. It felt like a family. South Kilburn is a niche area of London, not many people know about it. The reason I am the way I am is because of South Kilburn, it's such a hub for creativity. 

I need to take a visit to south kilburn, im from south so I dont really go up north. 

It's changed a lot more now. Walking down there it's like this is south kilburn or crystal palace? I’m so grieved by gentrification. When these trucks come and demolish your homes,

the key places it hurts. There was a music studio, a GP that got taken away. To see those gone is like this South Kilburn. This place is such a big part of my identity so to see it gone it does take a toll on you. It's like a piece of you is gone. 

Is there any landmark in South Kilburn that you would frequent the most outside of your youth club? 

There was a bakery in the precinct. You would get a baguette with chicken nuggets inside. That was the place you knew everyone was going to after youth club. Across the street from that bakery there was a place called ‘Ok Club’, God bless that man that started it. They were so involved in the community. They used to have karate classes, host movie screenings and art classes aswell. I really admire their love and compassion for young people in South Kilburn. There's not a lot of people who devote their lives to helping working class black youth. It was such a privellage to be a part of a time where that was the norm. Sadly youth clubs are dying. 

I didnt go to youth clubs growing up. I grew up in church, everything I wanted to do creativly I would do in church instead. The youth clubs in my area were quite dangerous. Though it did produce some of the biggest rappers to come out of London. Because a lot of them had studios inside of them. Which I think is a good thing. Giving young working class people the opportunity to be creative and artistic.

All children should have the opportunity to try. 

What came first for you, filmmaking or writing? 

Writing. I say writing because my earliest memory of me loving art was my love for English. I found English as a way to express myself. It was a way to let loose all the fantasy in my mind. I liked the grammar side of English more. I love nitpicking at different grammar mistakes. I didnt start getting into English Literature until secondary school. I always had more of an inclination to creative writing, so I really enjoyed the English Language. It's the details of language I'm intrigued by. Like, what does a metaphor mean? ect. 

Filmmaking came after. Whilst studying photography I got into Simon Wheatly. He is a key person in my love for photography. Coming from South Kilburn, seeing his pictures really spoke to me, in my experience as a young person from London. I actually met him, he did a talk at the photographers gallery. I was nervous about going because of the timing, like

would my parents allow me? I was with my friends in the library asking them ‘should I go, should I not?’. I ended up getting his number, and I asked if I needed a ticket. He said no  ‘I will say your my protige’. I took a photo with him too. That talk inspired me in a way that was healing for me. I come from a very conservative minded home. Art isnt really valued. He was really inspiring to me, because it told me that this is something that I can do. 

What inspired ‘Lagos, Peckham Repeat?’

It's a documentary style film, where I very candidly got out my camcorder on a trip to an exhibition with my friend (Lagos, Peckham Repeat). I then started recording what was around me. I recorded in a way where it looked like you were seeing what I was seeing as I walked through the streets of Peckham. 

I initially started recording because I loved how black Peckham was. I love how African Peckham is. So I just kept saying I love Peckham. So I brought out my camera and recorded because there's not a lot of times when I can go to Peckham. It was a sunday, so I was seeing a lot of elderly people in their full African attire. It's nice to see because there isnt a majority West African presence in South Kilburn. So it was very important for me to capture it like Nigeria. 

 I really love that piece, I think it's so special. I feel like in years to come it’s going to become bigger and held as something very introspective, very artistic. Just a beautiful piece of work to watch. 

I want to talk about your writing. It's so honest and vulnerable. I wanted to know, how do you channel that within yourself to put it on the page?

Anytime, I put pen to paper. It's a time of purging. Because sometimes I’m in moments in my life where only writing would be able to put language to what I'm feeling. When I wrote about how there is such a loss in meaningful connections with the rise in social media. That was because I was coming to a point in my own personal life, where I wanted to change the way I approached and existed on social platforms. Particularly TikTok. I would say writing is a method of survival for me. Writing is one the safest places I can be in. Vulnerability is so important in what we do. Vulnerability and art are linked, I believe that as an artist your duty is to be authentic with your audience. I struggle to articulate myself verbally so typing is a slow practice and takes much more care. 

You say you can't articulate yourself but you can!

I struggle (laughing) but I have gotten better over the years. 

There is a line you say on ‘Afraid To Feel’ which is one of my faviroutes. You said ‘Love is offensive by virtue of it simply existing’. How important is love to you? 

Love is the foundation of life. Without love none of us would be here. I really believe God is love. So everything we see now is an overflow of the love God has for us. I believe love is the unifyer of all humanity. I think if people were more loving and expressed their love more frequently I think there would be a lot less broken individuals. A lot less strife, a lot less war. From love comes compassion, from love comes understanding , from love comes care, from love comes community. If there was no love, who would we be? Love is important to me because it allows people to live authentically. If you know you're unconditionally loved, you show up as your full self. 

In ‘Afraid To Feel’ I speak about the importance of unconditional love. In relationships we have this idea of meritocracy where we have this idea that we have to work and earn love in order to gain compassion. But I think unconditional love shows us that this isnt true. Love is typically received not earned. In my own personal faith journey that is something I have had to renew my mind about. If i dont understand that I am loved unconditionally then I will constantly strive for a person's love and acceptance. That can come from masking who I truly am. But a friend told me that ‘real people see real people'. Not the contorted image that you have of yourself. It really touched me because I have spent a long time trying to unpack this cultural notion of emotional supression. Especially in Black communities. If you cried when you got slapped as a child, you're met with ‘why are you crying?’ As if that’s not something to cry about. 

It's interesting because those experiences as children really do follow you into adulthood. It’s like you shouldnt react to the things that are hurting you, just ‘suck it up’. But we have to realise we dont need to suppress ourselves in order to be accepted. Like your friend said, real people will accept you. Because you're a real person that experiences negative, positive and confusing emotions. 

In the church, we have a big stigma around emotional expression. That is something I try to target when I’m in those spaces. When I first started practicing my faith there were a lot of sentiments around certain emotions. If you expressed this thought, it would manifest into something bad. I think deconstructing that for me looked like anti-supression. Telling myself you can actually cry right now, it's ok. You dont have to perform. God will accept you in your authenticity. 

As I’ve gotten older I have become more accepting. And have realised that Love is a lot more pratical than I expected. 

Literally. That phrase you said at the start, ‘Love is offensive by virtue of it simply existing’. I said that because when someone is so passionate or explicitly in love with what they do, or their life, friends and art. It can be met with some backlash. I know with myself, I'm met with ‘oh you're doing too much’, ‘you dont have to be so expressive about your love’. I had to pause and think about what the root of this opposition to explicitly expressing love could be. I even read that even Jesus was met with this backlash. People who are committed to any particular cause can be met with so much backlash. Why are we so opposed to expressing love? Why are we opposed to someone expressing any form of passion? 

It shouldn’t be a shameful thing to be expressive about love. As a society we’re so ok  with expressing our negative emotions. We’re ok with being confrontational about things we dont like. We should be ok with being confrontational with the things you do like. You should be able to post about your loves or anything and anyone you care about. Without being confronted with ‘you should keep that private’. 

Even me personally. When I catch myself talking way too much about someone I look up to and really inspires me. I’m like ‘you just talked about them yesterday, calm down’. I should be able to talk about them until infinity. Why should there be a limit to how much I can express that love?  

I spent a long time denying that I loved art. That was the culture around me. At the Smalls Gallery opening I said, I want to be an unapologetic artist. This means I will embrace my love for art. I want to put down the mask. I really like that you love that piece. It was one of my favrioutes to write. 

I think that’s one of my favrioute things about writing. I guess it’s the lineage that Literature has created. Phrases like that remind me of James Baldwin’s work. I mean we didnt even exist at the same time as him. Also, the way you speak about love is in reference to bible scriptures as well. We didnt when those words were being written either.  This lineage has allowed us to methadologise about love. 

I remember at the exhibition I was talking to you and you said that your art is slow art. What is slow art to you? 

Slow art is to be so in touch with how you want to put out work. And to respect that want without succumbing to pressures that tell you to consistently produce. It's especially relevant in my relationship with God. Creating for me is like prayer, it's very spiritual. I would call it slow becuase I only write when I feel called to. I write when I feel like there's a burden that I feel like can only be released in written form. You dont get that every week, it's not linear, it's more fluid. Slow art allows for more base for fluidity. I’m not against structured art. For me and my relationship with God that’s just not the way God speaks through me.  It's very important to obey the voice of God in your work and what you do. 

I was in a stage where I was so obsessed with followers and numbers. To the point where I would be constantly seeking out followers. But I got to a point where I told God that I no longer care about that. It was draining me physically. I remember from that day on I promised myself and promised God that I will longer strive to gain material acknowledgement paticularly numbers. From that day on I felt less burdenered. 

It's hard sometimes. Because you want everyone in the world to see your art. But it’s about respecting a person's dignity and time. That your work will reach them at its own pace. Contentment too, being content with the fact that it doesnt have to either. 

I feel like I was like you, I was so conscious about followers. I was like we dont even have 100 followers. How are we going to put on an art show? But it was successful, people came. That just showed me that you can really get sucked into that world of numbers. It's kind of the matrix. 

We have such a fixation with instant gratification. We tend to miss the simplicity of someone being impacted by your work alone. Even if one person liked a substack piece, someone saw this and it resonated with them. Even if it's thirty people, that’s a classroom of people. They are reading the pieces, liking and commenting. As humans we weren’t made to be affirmed that quickly by a huge number of people. Social Media is not representative of what’s happening in real life. It’s hard sometimes but I have to remind myself of a larger purpose.